ourtwistedfuckingstory:

Sex is so weird like hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you

honksy:

*on my deathbed*

nurse: do you have any last words

me: i………..regret……being so……m…..mean………and heartless…………….

*the light goes out of my eyes*

*a small piece of paper falls out of my hand*

*the paper says one word only*

“sike”

s0raiseyourglassifyouarewrong:

carrionofmywaywardson:

imagineyourotp:

Imagine Person A of your OTP asking out Person B in a foreign language.

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life

sweeneytad:

*dentist slaughters family in front of you*

they’re bleeding because you don’t floss

cuddlefeyrac:

au where gatsby and nick get married and gatsby’s vows are all addressed to old sport and when the preacher asks if he takes nicholas carraway to be his lawfully wedded husband, gatsby just stands there in confusion for a few minutes and eventually confesses that he has no idea who nicholas carraway is he’s here to marry old sport

onoreddo:

h0stileap0stle:

rectumofglory:

atomicblonde:

survivor-trek:

obscuruslupa:

Star Trek “Tik Tok”

I will never be tired of this.

my new goal in life is to make fan videos that are this good

Every. Time.

lest we forget

charlie x more like charlie sex

god DAMN